Honk if you hate SUVs

Bikin' in the Florence countryside... no big, stupid SUVs here! Actually, the bikes Jess and I rented were total beaters.. they even creaked when riding over the cobblestones and weighed 35-40 lbs. We even got lost and rained on! Good times!

Garden at Versailles in France... no wonder the
French people were pissed during Louis XIV. They're starving
and living in poverty while good 'ol Louie Louie is living
high off the hog spending tons of money just to cut
all the trees in a square shape!!!

Now for today's entry....

Ahhhh...the wonderful pasttime of driving in da Querque. I'll set the scene... a crowded, slow-moving freeway littered with HUGE suburbans, Sequoias, Hummers, Escalades, Ford F350s... oversized gas guzzlers with their fat, bloated counterparts driving solo to work at a whooping 8 miles to the gallon. And don't forget the W04 sticker stuck to the back window. But wait! They can't leave the house or back their beast of a vehicle out of their driveway without getting on their cell phone. On the way to work, the walrus drivers must stop by a gas station to get their FIRST 44 oz Big Gulp of high fructose corn syrup ridden Coke of the day. Don't worry, Mr. Walrus will get a refill at lunch and yet another on his way home when he has to refill his gas tank since he used 15 gallons just driving to work. And yes, the car companies now make over-sized cup holders to accomodate the gallons of soda these over-sized people guzzle every day. Soda and gas seem to be the staples of the gluttons-- driver and SUV. After he gets home, fattie will sit down on his couch resting a beer and a huge bag of pork rinds on his big belly to watch reality TV. Back to the road!! This hippo of a driver owns the road, or so he thinks...blatantly changing lanes without regard for any of us environmentally conscious people with small cars. He blocks your view and his other SUV buddies block your peripheral view and all drive 10 mph below the speed limit. Dammit... and don't worry, I won't fail to mention that Mr. Walrus waits till the last minute to change lanes before his exit, cutting off the person in the lane next to him, causing a whole slowdown and a series of braking red lights to send me into a raging frenzy. I don't want to leave out the trucks with the viper engines and spoilers. Now THOSE are cool.

There is also a whole other breed of drivers out there. Oh yes, let's not leave out homeboy in his low-rider cadillac with the bumping stereo. My favorite is when they have the hydraulics in the back so the rear end of the car will bounce up and down. THAT is sexy. To complete the picture, I will add orange barrels... everywhere. The freeway and every road you would take to avoid the bad traffic on the freeway is under construction. One lane. There are lines of cars with their blinkers on as far as the eye can see. The roads you'd take to even get on the freeway have the on-ramps blocked off. You try and go to another road to get on the freeway only to find there is a no left-hand turn sign so you can't get to that on-ramp either. Even the parking lots are under construction. Apparently our city planners aren't too bright. Maybe those Big Gulps are going to their head.

With all that said, it's okay to have an SUV if you are not using it to commute 40 mi to round trip alone in your car to work every day. If you actually USE it to carry sports equipment or even your whole litter of children on the way to soccer practice, it's forgiveable. However, if you have a large vehicle with just yourself inside and a bike rack ON THE BACK or ON TOP, you are a chode. "Hey everyone! Look at me! Look at my bike! I drive an SUV and don't put stuff in it! I'm so cool!"

Anyway, I will quit here. There is only so much angst one person can take in a day. Tomorrow is the duathlon where I will be in the hurt locker for a good while. You'll hear about that in my next entry.

Mean post...

This was our super ghetto hostel in Paris. Coed, 8 people in one
room, ONE shower with no curtain, 2 toilets for the whole floor(that
didn't always work), dirty noisy, curfew...it was big pimpin.


My work environment has changed in the past few days. Instead of hiding in my computer lab/conference room office, I am now supposed to drive way out into the middle of the base away from human civilization and mingle with lifeforms only known to the bizarre and twisted. Who knows what they do out there in that small, hot, dark building.. I worry that they will try and inject me with some nerd juice. I already have enough of that in my veins! Yesterday I went out there and was stuck all alone with creepy guy. Yes... we all know him. The 40 year old guy who likes to hit on women half his age... his act was carried out by asking me my plans for the weekend, how serious I was with my boyfriend, trying to make body contact, counting off on his fingers all the qualities about me he finds perfect. Nice... maybe me and his 5 year old daughter will hit it off. You know, because the age difference between us is less than me and her father. It's quite disturbing that I am required to work with this person...every day. Today I had to meet some people in the boonies at 8 AM. I waited around forever until the first alien showed up. He was 15 minutes late in a mini-van and I believe he was the distant cousin to Jaba the hut... wearing a Nascar shirt. Nice. I followed the hobbling figure to the room I was in yesterday, only this time, we were not alone. I felt beady eyes upon me when I walked in only to find nerds of every size and shape. Their eyes squinted as the light of day shown briefly in the room. Then the door closed and I was isolated. No phone, no internet...just me, some pocket PCs, and the creatures with pocket protectors. My job today consisted of helping Jaba's cousin take measurements on a container and hearing him breath hard after he bent down to check readings on the machine he picked up in his meaty hands. He told me that he used to race mountain bikes and be a running back for football. Hmm... I don't know about that. I don't think he could run if there were 2 dozen krispy kremes in the next room. I managed to escape for lunch and was not happy to come back. The creepy guy from yesterday was there performing full throttle. For some reason, he felt that he needed to pull my hair, bump into me, and grab my wrist. I was just hoping that the contact would not turn me into one of them... and that he wouldn't be grabbing at anything else. Who knows out there, maybe they were planning an engineering gang bang. After lunch, I told them I wasn't doing anything there to help and I was leaving to go to my office. I have to go back to the cave in BFE tomorrow. Wish me luck. If you never hear from me again, they took me to their home planet where resistors grow on trees and there are engineering glasses sold in every corner store.

On another note, it has been windy as shiznat here. I attempted to ride the south foothills last night on my mountain bike and had to fight a 30 mph head wind up EVERY climb. I use the wind as my excuse that I could only finish ONE lap and am grossly out of shape. I'll be lucky to survive the duathlon this weekend. Today Ehasz, Adam, and I are going to ride Sandia. Since the duathlon comes down King of the Mountain, I have to pre-ride it coming DOWN. Hopefully I don't break my leg or knock out some teeth. Hmm, maybe that would be a good thing... maybe the enginerds would no longer stare.... or maybe they would like the appeal of no teeth. Hmmm...

Rubber side down... check!

Europe tidbit #1: Budapest.... very nice!



Europe tidbit #2: This is our gondola driver in Venice. What sad times are these when gondola drivers in historic, beautiful
Venice talk on the CELL PHONE while driving.





Sandia ski area this weekend. Me, my mountain bike, and the trail all together. Finally! It had been a month and a half since our last rendezvous when I wrecked and sprained what seemed like every tendon and ligament in my wrist. A month before that was my last wreck-free ride, right before the day my knee was split open. Two months without mountain biking or racing had me feeling pretty timid, especially when I was strapping the brace on my wrist right before my ride..still not fully healed. I rode up the mountain at a leisurely pace, trying to enjoy it. My technical skills seemed to be there until a steep rocky descent I have ridden a million times. I got off my bike, shaking my head, and walked down. This seemed to be a recurring theme today. I was getting closer to the top and remembered that it takes about 2 weeks to reacclimate. I had been at sea level for almost a month and a half, so by the time I finished, I was leaning over my bike. Everything was getting very bright and started to spin. I just leaned on my handlebars and it passed. I felt horrible... it was a very discouraging day. How in the world would I race my last Norba National as an expert in just 2 short weeks? That meant that I must come back the next day and have a better ride. Sunday morning, same place. I decided to push myself today and prove that I am still a mountain biker. I was pretty happy with my performance. I felt great and was tearing it up! I was still feeling timid and begrudgingly walked my bike down a few descents and felt incredibley sheepish. Next time I'll do it... it's just that when you feel like you are going to crash, you probably will. I only had one small spill going up and around a sandy switchback, but it didn't hurt. At 1.5 miles to go, I started feeling the altitude once again and my legs started complaining about the lack of oxygen. "Next weekend you will be acclimated!" I told them. I rode the trail 10 minutes faster on Sunday and felt much better about myself. Once my blood cells are back to a mile high and I just let loose on the descents, I'll be riding great! 2 weeks? No problem! :)

Next weekend is the off-road duathlon at Sandia Peak. I have never done a duathlon before, so hopefully it will be fun! I haven't been running much since my marathon days, but I just hope I have enough to sustain me through the run and enough snap in my legs to make up the time difference. I will ride up King of the Mountain to 10,000 ft, run 5k way up high, and then ride down. Sunday is the Sante Fe Prison Loop road race... not sure I'll do that. Maybe I'll ride the Winzor trail on the mountain bike. I just want to go to Santa Fe to hit up Trader Joe's!

I can't wait to slide back into the tail end of the race season. This summer has not been the best for my cycling resume!

I got my new apple computer in this weekend. It's sweet! I turned it on and had a big question mark dwelling over me, but the OS is pretty easy to use. There's my claim to nerdom.

I met the most annoying man I have ever seen last week. I was in a meeting at work and this man had to correct EVERYTHING. He was trying to correct the presentation. When the presenter finished, the lame chode said, "Shouldn't you defrag the disk?" Later in the government van, the super engineering nerd said, "Umm.. maybe you should get some gas soon? Why are there hail dents on the car? Are you going to get that fixed!?!" Now my friends, if you know me, you know that I laugh... a lot. It took everything in me not to laugh at this guy... it also took everything in me not to backhand him!

More Euro stuff tomorrow!

Champs Elysees... the tour will be coming through here soon! All the trees in Paris are square... that should give you some intution about Parisiennes! 

Europe photo #1! Pimpin that beer in Hungary with the porn star glasses. OHHH YEAAHHH, who wants some?? Those Hungarian do know how to party! 

J'aime Le Tour!!!

Well I got home just in time. The Tour was very thrilling to watch this weekend. Thanks to Cameron and Tiffany, bums like me can go over to their house and watch OLN on their big TV...I'm not the only bum over there! ;) Seems like Ullrich, Basso, and Armstrong are always at it. I won't complain! I think it's sooo great that Hincapie took the win yesterday. That guy definitely deserves it.

Nothing too eventful has been happening. It was nice to be home on the weekend. I got to see my parents for awhile and also chill with Adam... we even got to pimp it by the pool yesterday! I had to go to my aunt's house yesterday for my little cousin's bday party. The things you do for your family...it's not my favorite thing in the world to go somewhere where there are tons of children all under the age of 6 running around and screaming. It's the best birth control there is! My biological clock is NOT ticking (see Adam? No worries!) But hey, at least I got free cake. Everyone ate the cake for the children because my aunt decided to make chocolate and chili cake. Hmmm, what's wrong with this picture?

I booked a moving truck for the big day next month. Money, money, money... why don't I have any? Oh wait, I know the answer to that one! ;) I need a page like Matt Shriver... donations. http://www.mattshriver.com/ I'm not nearly as badass as him though. I could even make them tax deductible. Any takers? ;)

YE, I'm alive

Well, I'm back from the land of the stinky and hairy! :) Europe was a great time.. maybe if you're lucky I will write about it sometime and show some pics! Overall it was such a great experience although I am very happy to be back in da Querque where there are mountains, open space, my very own BATHROOM, and big grocery stores!! Being out of the country actually made me thankful to be American despite all the hangups I have with our country including the fact that we have an ignorant stinky monkey sitting in the white house. I have to say, I was going through some definite cycling withdrawals and getting the angst because everyone was racing BUT me! Unfortunately, my wrist is still not up to snuff so I can't mountain bike for awhile. I am going to go to Brianhead, wrist healed or not. I need another Norba Nat on my resume or Titus is going to disown me. Next year it's on! I can't wait for the race season. Hopefully I can do some damage for collegiate racing.

I move in just a MONTH. It's crazy. I'm poor, I'm moving. That's what I think about. It sucks to be back at work rotting away, but it's nice to sit on my ass since I was walking like 10 hours a day! I didn't get to hear much about the Tour when I was in Europe. I guess a lot of those chodes are above it. I can't wait to watch some of it. Hell yeah! Maybe there will be a shot of Jan Ulrich's butt. MMM MMM OH JANNY! ;) ha

I am about to buy a laptop for grad school...see, told ya I'm poor! I'm going to get a Powerbook. I've always used PCs, but it's time to move on to something else. No more Bill Gates! I am stoked it's FRIDAY and I get to leave work in ONE hour. I am really looking forward to riding this weekend, seeing the fam, and of course ADAM!

Hopefully Monday I'll have some digital pics and maybe a few stories for yous. LATA!